Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Let's Talk Money: So Your Talking About Marriage

Happy Wednesday Budget Brides!

I wanted to start a series called Let's Talk Money to help all of you in your process of heading to the altar and marriage. These post will happen every Wednesday and they will give you tips and ideas of how you can prepare for your upcoming planning and future wedding. We would love to hear your comments on the post we create and from time to time there will be contests for you to win great prizes to help you along the process.

Are you talking about marriage? Then this is a must read.

Many couples do not talk about finances while they are in the dating stages. Many feel that
talking about money is a very touchy subject and that it could send the wrong message to your partner. If this is you, please stop now. Take a deep breath, stretch a little, get a cup of coffee and some tissues. Okay, are you done yet? Let's get started.

First and foremost you have to be honest with yourself. It is time to come clean with your feelings on money. The way you view money determines the way you spend or save it. Many of us deal with our money issues by excessively spending or saving money.

For example, Sara has grown up in a house with a single mother and 2 siblings. There was never enough money to go around and at times she had to wear hand me downs from her older sister and the Salvation Army. Sara was teased alot through her school years because she did not have the latest clothes, gadgets or accessories. This made Sara feel very alienated and self conscience because of her lack of "luxury" items in her childhood. These feelings have made Sara determined to have the best life possible even if it means spending her last dime. Sara currently lives in Atlanta, GA where she is an accountant for a local gas company with a yearly salary of $55,000. The majority of Sara's income goes to her student loans, car note, car insurance, 5 credit cards, her expensive apartment in a gated community while about 3% of her income goes into savings. Sara's closets are so full with clothes that she still has tags on about 30% of the items in her closet. Many of the clothes, shoes and accessories that Sara has acquire has only been wore once and are now at the back of her closet. Sara always wants to be the best dress and thrives off others commenting on how good she looks. She usually shops with her girlfriends or when she is very emotional which contributes to her bad spending habits. Sara is very fond of her boyfriend Matthew and they have been talking about marriage the last few months.

Matthew grew up in a two parent household with a younger brother. Matthew's parents are owners of a children's shoe store in Savannah, GA. Since Matthew's parents opened there shoe store when Matthew was about 8 years old he was well aware of his parents struggle to make ends meet while they pursued their dream of entreprenurship. Matthew has experience living out of the back of his parent's store, going to the food bank and staying with family members because his parents did not always make enough money to make ends meet. In response to his childhood, Matthew has worked hard to make a decent salary and lives well below his means. Matthew currently lives in Atlanta, GA where he works as a commerical real estate analyst
making a six figure salary. Even though Matthew has an abundance, he has a fear of being broke and has become a serial saver. Matthew has little bills because he is scared of debit and pays for almost everything in cash.
Sara and Matthew have a really good relationship; however, neither has discussed the money habits of the other. Matthew thinks that Sara spends too much money unneccessarily while Sara thinks Matthew holds on to his money to tight. This couple has many arguements when it comes to money so this is a sore spot in there relationship. Before they get married Sara and Matthew definitely need to sit down with each other and a counselor to discuss their money issues before they even become engaged. This will be a turning point in their relationship which if they can battle then they can get through anything. If not, it is better to part ways before anymore time has been wasted.

Sara and Matthew is a good example of a lot of people. Many of us have bad spending habits or obsessive saving habits because of tramedic experiences that we may have endured during various times of our lives. Since many of us fail to deal with those issues that are displayed through our actions. Some of us spend to much while others of us save to much and do not give ourselves the opportunity to enjoy life.

It is very important to talk about money amongst other things while your still in the dating stage. By talking about money you will get to know each other in a more intimate and personal way. Wouldn't you want to know if your partner is frugal, a shop-a-holic, secret spender or an impulse buyer?

**sidebar** Want to know what type of spender you and your partner are click here to take a quiz from Lifestyle Finance.

Take the quiz above and next week we will discuss what type of spender you are and how this is effect your martial future.


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